No Strings Attached, a look at the Miami dating scene

Welcome to Miami where personality, intelligence and integrity do not matter. Where the metro-sexual man spends more time doing his hair than the woman he is going out with does. And where what is under your shirt or in your wallet truly defines the type of person you are and if you are dating material.

Finding and maintaining a meaningful relationship in a city that was named the sexiest in the United States earlier this year, is nearly impossible.
Besides the constant competition for a person’s attention and keeping up with the fast-pace lifestyle, men and women alike suffer from the BBD syndrome — “bigger better deal”.

A complaint made by both genders is that people in Miami have a hard time appreciating what they have in front of them because they are constantly searching for something better — the next best thing. And that next best thing usually has a thinner waist, fuller lips and a bigger rack.

“My ex-boyfriend is 38. One of his new girlfriends is 19 and a stripper,” said Lisa Lorenski, 26, a woman frustrated with the Miami dating scene. “Where does he think he lives, the Playboy mansion? I blame Hugh Hefner.”

But Hugh Hefner is not the one to blame. Living in a city known for its it’s exquisite beaches, electric night life and beautiful people, it is difficult to want to settle down.

Miami’s dynamic culture and vibrancy gives off the vacation vibe all year round. And vacation usually translates to fun. And fun usually translates into a no-strings attached type of deal.

Meeting somebody with substance in Miami to begin with is virtually beyond the bounds of possibility. This car culture that we have been cursed with limits our daily interaction to our co-workers, family members and perhaps mail couriers. When we want to see different faces and meet new people, many of us drive down to South Beach where bodies are so attractive, it’s an effort to care about their personalities.

Every girl dreams of the day she will meet her prince charming, get swept off her feet and live happily ever after. And it is quite possible for this to happen…if you live in Montana. Think it’s going to happen in Miami? Close your eyes and keep on dreaming.

“The problem with most Miami men is they’re assholes.  The problem with most Miami women is they put up with those assholes,” said Lorenski.
Single gals from down south in Kendall to North Miami Beach have the same frustration with Miami men — they don’t want to commit. No matter their age, they all seem to have the same testosterone driven mindset.

“If I meet someone I like, I’ll date her. If I happen to meet another girl I like, I’ll date them both,” said David Rodriguez, 25, a self proclaimed player. “You have to get to know a lot of people before figuring out which one is worth your time.”

Now, some women do not have a problem with dating a man who is also dating other women, as long as he doesn’t pretend she’s the one he wants to marry.

“This one guy I dated told me he never met anyone like me, that he wants to make me his girlfriend but he is just so busy with work. Days later, I found out he has a girlfriend of 2 years,” said Christina Fazan, 30, a woman tired of the lies Miami men tell.

But it‘s not just the men who are to blame. Miami women are just as picky as they are, if not worse. Many want to know where a man lives and what kind of car he drives before asking what he majored in college.

“They want perfection. A guy who drives a Porsche, lives in a condo at the Flamingo on South Beach and has a body like a football player and a face like Brad Pitt,” said Robert Green, 31, a successful, middle-class man unlucky with love.

The dating scene in Miami has been completely distorted because of the expectations south Floridians have on one another. Superficiality seems to be the major issue. A deep conversation outside a coffee shop can and will be rudely interrupted by a Kim Kardashian look-a-like who just happens to walking her dog wearing nothing but a bathing suit.

“It’s so hard to keep a guy’s attention when there’s supermodels walking up and down Lincoln Road. That’s why women start starving themselves and getting boob jobs,” said Fazan.

What drives many Miami men mad are the meaningless dinner quasi-conversations with women that have nothing more to bring to the table besides their large silicone breasts, acrylic nails and Remy human hair extensions.
“I’ve been on a few dates where I literally had to drink myself to a good time with the girl I was with… Some just can’t hold conversation if it doesn’t involve purses or drama,” said Green.

Miami men also have a hard time taking a woman seriously who wears a skin tight dress to go food shopping. According to men, those women want to be looked at and treated like a piece of meat.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great view. But she’s not the type I’d bring home to mom,” said Rodriguez.

So what’s the solution? Should Miami singles give in to the party lifestyle and never settle? Or should they have the “if you can’t beat them, join them mentality” when it comes to superficiality? Maybe their best bet is moving out of Miami and into Montana.